MomRN.com - Back to school anxiety article

Back-To-School Basics

"Back-To-School Anxiety"

It�s that time of the year again. Soon the kids will be off to school each day instead of sleeping in, playing all day with friends, and enjoying the summer. Some kids are excited about starting the new school year while others are filled with anxiety. Most kids have a mixture of feelings that range from excitement about seeing friends again to worrying about which teacher they will have and what the new grade will be like. Whether your child is going to school for the first time or for the twelfth time, it is normal for kids to have these ambivalent feelings. It is also quite common for parents to have mixed feelings. You may be glad and sad at the same time. Our children start school very soon and I am dealing with these feelings myself. I am not ready to send them back yet. Maybe it is because the youngest will be going to school all day for the first time so both my children will be in school full-time. After a summer of being with them all day, it will be quite an adjustment.

So, what can we as parents do to help our families start off the school year in a positive way that will help us all adjust? Here are some tips that my family will use. I hope that they will be helpful for your family, too.

Talk with your child about school in a positive way.

Whatever your own feelings may be, try to be as encouraging and positive as possible about the upcoming school year. This may be hard if, like me, you don�t look forward to the start of school but kids have enough anxiety of their own. They don�t need to be worrying about how their parents are going to handle them going off to school. Allow your child to express his feelings. Be supportive. Talk about his past successes in handling new situations. Build up his confidence (and yours) that he (and you) can handle this, too.

Visit the school a few days before school starts.

Becoming familiar with the school and the teacher is a good way to lessen school anxiety.

Call the office to arrange a tour of the school. Let your child visit his classroom, meet the teacher, see the cafeteria, and locate the bathrooms. Find out who his classmates will be. Many schools have an "Information Day" for this very purpose. Your child also needs to know how he will be getting to and from school. For bus riders, arrange a visit to the bus barn. For walkers, practice the route with your child. If a parent or someone else will be transporting, show him where he will be dropped off and picked up each day.

Start a school-routine schedule a week or two before the first day.

It takes time to adjust sleep habits, so get the kids back on track by sending them to bed and waking them up at the times that they will need to during the school year. It may be hard to get them to go to bed when the sun is still shining, but by the time school starts, they should be used to the new routine.

Have an "End-of-Summer, Back-to-School Party"

This can be as simple or as elaborate as you want it to be. You can make it strictly a family affair or invite your child�s friends and classmates. Our family usually celebrates the first day of school by allowing the kids to pick a favorite restaurant for dinner that evening. Do whatever works for your family to make the start of the new school year exciting and fun.

Suggest your child write a letter or send an e-mail to his new teacher.

Find out from the office the teacher�s address or e-mail address and if it would be okay for your child to write to him/her. Your child can introduce himself to his teacher and tell the teacher a little about himself. Hopefully, the teacher will reply and begin a rapport that will help to put your child at ease.

Take a picture of your child on the first day of school each year.

Take a picture or videotape your child before he leaves for school. You might even make a sign that has the date and his grade on it for future reference. Before the first day of school, look at the pictures from previous years together. This can be fun and can also remind your child of his previous successes in dealing with back-to-school anxiety.

Send a family picture or a note with your child the first day to offer comfort.

Put it in his book bag, pocket, or lunch box. He can take it out and look at it when he feels nervous or homesick. If he is older and would be embarrassed by a note from his mommy, write it in a secret code then tell him how to decode it. Every kid needs to feel love and support from home, especially when faced with new situations.

Say "good-bye" and go.

When taking your child to school or the bus stop on the first day, try to be upbeat and positive. Remind your child that you (or someone else) will be there to pick him up at the end of the day. Make sure to say good-bye to your child instead of sneaking off when he is distracted. If he cries, console him but don�t stay for more than a few minutes. Teachers can usually help children calm down after the parents leave. Don�t cry in front of your child as that will only make him feel worse. Once you are gone, you can cry if you need to.

Be an involved parent.

Get involved with the parent/teacher association. Keep in contact with your child�s teacher. Volunteer at the school whenever possible. Know what is happening at the school. Attend open houses and other school events. Your child will learn that his education is important to you. He may also feel less anxiety because you will be supporting him and his school.

I hope these tips help your family get off to a great start for the new school year! Send your ideas for coping with back-to-school anxiety to me at: