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Choosing and Keeping the Best Child Care for Your Child

Out of all the decisions that parents have to make regarding their children, choosing a child care provider may be the most difficult. It can also be a very time-consuming task. There are so many choices available that it can be overwhelming to parents who are looking for the best situation for their family. As a mother, I have faced this decision three different times and each time I wished that Mary Poppins would show up on my doorstep and solve all my childcare worries. That never happened, of course, so my husband and I had to search for childcare on our own. When our first child was almost two years old, I quit working outside the home and became a licensed family home child care provider. During the past several years, I have helped many families looking for childcare find the right situation for their children. With the experience I have had both as a parent searching for childcare and as a child care provider, I have learned some steps that can make the process of choosing and keeping childcare a little easier.

First, you need to know what types of child care are available to you. The five main types of child care are:

	Relative care: child care provided by the child's grandparent, aunt, or other family member or close friend.
	Nanny care: child care provided in your own home by an individual.
	Family home child care: child care provided to a small group of children by an individual in her own home.
	Center care: child care provided to large groups of children by multiple providers in a child care facility. Babysitting Co-Op child care: An organized group of parents who take turns providing care for each others' children.

Every type of child care has pros and cons to consider when choosing the right type for you and your child.

Relative care allows your child to stay with someone who already knows and loves him or her. You have the benefit of knowing and trusting the person too. Your child would receive individualized care and attention. Usually, this type of care is the least expensive and a relative may be more flexible about hours, illness, etc. This can all be very appealing to parents who have this option available to them. However, there can be drawbacks. You will need a back-up plan in case your relative cannot provide care every day. A relative may be less dependable if she views the arrangement as "doing you a favor" and may not feel obligated to provide care if she has something else to do. She may grow resentful if she is being paid below what other types of childcare charge or especially if she is watching your child for free. If a serious conflict arises, the relationship could be damaged. Finally, if no other children are present, your child will lack beneficial social interaction with his/her peers.

Nanny care allows your child to stay in his/her own home with a provider who either lives-in or comes to the home each day. Your child would receive one-on-one care (unless, of course, you have more than one child) and his/her own routine can be maintained. A nanny may be more flexible with hours, illness, etc. A nanny may also transport your child to/from school and activities. She may also do light housework. The drawbacks for nanny care are cost (this is the most expensive type of care), lack of state regulation, difficulty finding one with experience and training, lack of beneficial social interaction with child's peers, and the need for a back-up plan if she must take a day off. Finally, many nannies are college-age women that only plan to stay in the business temporarily so it could be difficult to find one who will be with your child on a long-term basis.

Family home child care allows your child to be in a home environment with a small group of children being cared for by a licensed professional. A licensed provider is different from a "baby-sitter" or unlicensed provider because she has met the requirements set forth by her state in order to obtain a child care license. State licensing regulations vary but generally speaking, providers must be pass surprise home inspections, must pass background checks, and must attend training each year. Many providers are also parents who have chosen to provide childcare as a means to afford staying home with their own children. Providers may be flexible with hours, schedules,etc. Some providers teach a preschool curriculum and/or transport children for school. Some provide fun and educational field trips. Your child may receive more individualized care and attention than in a daycare center. Your child can benefit from having social interaction with other children of the same age and/or different ages in a family setting. The cost is comparable to center care and less expensive than nanny care. There are also drawbacks to family home child care. Again, you will need to have a back-up plan for those days when your provider must take a day off. Your child will not always receive one-on-one care and your child may get sick more often from being with other children. Look for a provider with training and experience who has obtained a state license to provide childcare.

Center care allows your child to be with other children his/her age with more than one provider available in a daycare facility that takes care of a large number of children. Facilities vary greatly from churches and schools to nationwide chains and independent centers. State regulations vary but most licensed daycare centers are regulated in a similar way as a licensed family child care home. Children are usually grouped according to age with one or more provider per group. The number of children per provider is usually larger in a daycare center than in a family home child care. Most will transport children for school and provide field trips. You should not need a back-up provider (since centers don't take a day off unexpectedly) except for when your child is sick and you are unable to miss work or if you work major holidays. Center care is usually less expensive than a nanny but generally more expensive than family home child care and relative care. Drawbacks include: Your child will not receive one-on-one care and may be sick more often from being with large numbers of other children. Some centers have a high turnover rate of providers which can make bonding with a provider difficult for the child. Some centers hire providers with no (or very little) training and experience. Look for a center with trained, experienced providers and a low turnover rate.

Babysitting Co-Ops can be an economical way to obtain child care services, if you have the scheduling flexibility and willingness to be an active participant that is required. Make sure the co-op has written rules and expectations, not just verbal agreements that can potentially lead to problems. There should be a clear schedule of who will be watching the children on any given day and for what length of time. Parents should respect other parents in the co-op who provide care for their child just as they would a nanny or other childcare provider, and be careful not to take advantage of each other just because you may be friends. There should also be limits on the number of children each parent has to provide care for at any one time. For a good guideline, check with your local child welfare office to find out the recommended caregiver to child ratio for child care homes. Co-ops require effective communication between all parents involved, and active participation of all members. If your schedule will not allow you to provide care for other children in exchange for child care for your kid, this is not the option for you.

Now that you have learned about the different types of care and some of the pros and cons of each, you can move on to the next step; deciding which type would best suit your child's needs. To do this, start by asking yourself these questions:

	Do I want one-on-one care? If so, do I have a relative who would be available and willing to provide childcare or do I need a nanny?
	Do I want my child to have other children to play with? If so, how many and what age (all in the same age group or mixed ages)?
	Do I want more than one provider present at the facility?
	Do I need flexible hours?, extended hours?, evening or weekend hours?
	Do I have children in different age groups and do I want them kept together?
	Does my child have any needs (such as a disability, ADD, etc.) requiring specialized care?
	Do I want childcare close to my home or my workplace or am I willing to drive out of the way for quality childcare?
	Do I have a school-age child that needs transportation?
	Do I want my child to have the same provider every day?
	Do I want a provider who will watch my child on a long-term basis or do I just need temporary child care (such as, summer care for a school-age child)?
	What can I afford to pay for child care? (Low-income parents may qualify for state-funded programs or financial assistance to pay a provider. Check with your local department of human services.)

Your answers to the above questions should help you narrow down what kind of care would work for you and your child. Once you have decided on a type, the next step is to find that type of care in your area. We will not focus on relative care since you would only choose that type if you already have a relative available and willing. And babysitting co-ops are usually formed among a group of friends or might be found by searching the internet for co-ops in your area, if one exists. Since these types of care are not as widely used, we will focus only on finding and obtaining nanny care, child care home care, and daycare center care.

Nanny Care

Nanny care can be found through nanny agencies which are listed in the yellow pages under "Nanny Services", "Child Care", or "Sitting Services". If there are no local nanny agencies in your area, you can call The International Nanny Association (#1-888-878-1477) or log on to their website (www.nanny.org). You could also ask around to see if any parents you know use a nanny or know of someone who would like to act as a nanny for your child. You may even run a classified ad in the newspaper.

When you have located some potential candidates for the job, interview each one. Be sure to ask how much training and/or experience she has, why she has chosen to be a nanny, how long she plans to be a nanny, why she left her last job, what would she do in an emergency, and any other questions you may have. Ask for references and call them. Ask them why the nanny quit or was fired. Ask for her strengths and weaknesses. Then do a background check on any candidates that you are still considering. Even if a nanny agency has run a background check, it is a good idea to do another. Call your state bureau of investigation for information on conducting a background check and what it will cost. Another option is to hire a private investigator to do a background check. Doing a background check may seem costly or unnecessary but remember this, you are hiring someone who will be coming into your private home, having access to your belongings, and most importantly, will be alone with your child. So, take time to find out about that person.

Nanny care can be the most difficult type of care to find so it is a good idea to search for one well in advance or use another type of childcare while you search. Keep in mind is that you will be hiring an employee which means you will need to go through the proper channels to pay FICA, social security,etc. You should also have a written contract that both you and the nanny will sign detailing the expectations of both parties. You can find sample contracts in books related to hiring a nanny. I also recommend reading the Nanny FAQ on the International Nanny Association website at: http://www.nanny.org/nannyforfamily.php.

Family Home Child Care

Family home child care can be found through several ways. Ask around to see if any of the parents you know uses this type of care or know of a licensed provider. Look in the classified ads and on store bulletin board ads for licensed providers. Some cities and towns also have a network of providers who may advertise together in the local paper and/or the yellow pages under "Child Care". Look in the yellow pages for a "Child Care Resource-and-Referral Agency" (these are usually free) or call the local licensing agency for providers in your area. Other sources are Child Care Aware (#1-800-424-2246) and the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies at http://www.naccrra.org/for_parents.
Once you have located a few or several providers, the next step is to call each one to find out who has an opening for your child's age group for the days and hours that you need child care. If cost and location will be major factors in your decision, go ahead and ask the providers for this information over the phone as well. These phone calls will help to shorten your list.

Next, schedule an interview with each provider that is left on your list. Many providers prefer not to hold the initial interview during her business hours because it would be very difficult to give her full attention to both you and to the children in her care. If the initial interview goes well, you can schedule another time to come during business hours so that you and your child can meet the other children and you can observe the provider in action. During the initial interview, have a list of the questions that you would like to ask. Ask about her training, experience, and references. Be sure to call the references after the interview to find out more information about the provider.

The provider will also give you information about her hours, rates, policies, and a copy of her contract. She should also give you a tour of the areas of her home that are used for childcare. She will have questions too. It is important to understand that not only are you interviewing her but the provider is interviewing you and your child as well. She will want to decide if your child will fit in with the children already enrolled and if you can both work well together for the benefit of your child. Some providers will enroll a child for a two-week trial basis to help both parties determine this too.

After the interviews, you may wish to check the licensing files of the provider(s) that you are interested in using. You can do this by calling your local child care licensing agency and scheduling a time to view the files. The files will contain the results of licensing worker inspections of the home and provider, any non-compliances with regulations, the provider's background check, and if there have been any complaints filed or investigations conducted and the results.

Daycare Centers

Daycare centers are probably the easiest type of care to find since most advertise in the yellow pages and/or the newspaper. You can also try your local licensing agency or Child Care Aware or the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies (see contact info. above). Ask other parents you know if they use a center and what they like/dislike about it. Schedule tours of centers and speak with the director and with the provider(s) who would be caring for your child. Many centers schedule tours during business hours so you should be able to observe the providers with the children. Ask what experience and training the providers have and about the provider turnover rate. The center should give you written information regarding operating hours, rates, policies, and contracts. Ask for references and call them. Check the licensing files and call the local Better Business Bureau for complaints or non-compliances with regulations. After your initial tour of a center, drop in unannounced once or twice to observe the providers in action to get a better idea of what to expect.

Whatever type of child care you are looking for, remember to trust your instincts when interviewing providers. If something doesn't seem right, it usually isn't. Just because a provider or a center has been highly recommended by someone you know, don't feel pressured to choose that one. What might be the "perfect" child care arrangement for someone else, might not be so "perfect" for you. You know your child and family situation better than anyone else, so make your choice based on what you feel is best.

Also, don't forget to have a back-up plan for those days when the provider you choose cannot provide care due to illness, emergency, etc. This is needed no matter what type of care you have chosen so that you won't be caught completely off-guard if the unexpected happens. I can tell you from experience that it is not much fun to receive a call from your provider at 6:00 a.m. on Monday morning telling you that she is sick and can't take care of your child when you absolutely have to be at work and you have no idea who to call. It is a very helpless and stressful feeling. You will also want to have a back-up plan for days when your child is ill if the provider you have chosen will not keep him/her. Most family home providers and daycare centers will not allow a sick child to return to them until they have been symptom-free for 24 hours or cleared by a doctor to prevent the illness from spreading to the other children. Your provider may be a good resource for referring back-up care providers, but it is not the provider's responsibility to secure back-up care, so plan for it while you are conducting your child care search. As a former child care provider, I had many a parent beg me to keep her child or locate back up care on a day when I had to close because I was sick or my own child was sick. As much as I felt for them, it was very frustrating as a provider to spend a great deal of time dealing with a desperate parent who had not made a back up plan, knowing my sick child was in the next room needing my attention (or if I was the one sick, needing to take care myself so I could return to providing care as soon as possible). Child care providers are human too, and most have children of their own, so there will be times when they are unexpectedly unavailable. It will save both of you a great deal of time and stress if you plan in advance.

Okay, so you have done the research, had the interviews, and have found what you believe to be the right child care situation for your child. So, now what? Now you want to establish a good relationship between everyone involved to make the situation a positive and lasting one.

First, observe how your child is adjusting to the new situation and how the provider interacts with your child. She should work with you to help your child say good-bye and to adjust to the child care arrangement. Realize that children need time to become familiar with and comfortable with new situations so there may be tears and clinginess when you leave the first few days or weeks. This behavior is normal and doesn't always mean that the arrangement is not a good one. If your child does cry or cling to you, don't linger and drag out the good-bye. This only makes it harder to leave and teaches your child that the longer he cries, the longer you will stay. But don't sneak out without saying good-bye either. Instead, hug and kiss your child good-bye and tell him when you will return. Reassure him that you will see him then. Act calm (even if you feel like crying) and confident that he will be just fine after you leave. You can always call later to ask the provider if your child did calm down. More often than not, kids stop crying soon after their parents leave.

If you are concerned that a problem does exist, drop in unannounced to observe what is happening when you are not expected. This will either help set your mind at ease that all is well or show if a problem exists that needs to be addressed. When there is a problem, ask yourself if it is a problem that can be resolved by talking with your provider. Unless it is a major problem that endangers the well-being of your child, attempt to resolve it before deciding to change providers. When you do talk to your provider, approach her as a "teammate" and not as an adversary. Keep in mind that you shouldn't expect her to do more than you would do yourself if you were doing her job. Treat her with the same respect that you expect from her. She should be willing to work with you to ensure that the problem is resolved.

The most important key to keeping good childcare is to always keep the lines of communication open with your provider so that any concerns and/or problems can be dealt with and so that you can work together to give your child the best care possible. Let your provider know when something in your child's life may be affecting his behavior so she can better meet his needs. Let her know as much as possible about your child's likes, dislikes, and how you are raising him. And be open to ideas and suggestions from your provider, especially if she has a lot of training and experience with children. An experienced childcare provider can be a wonderful resource to parents.

There are many additional ways you can make the child care situation a positive one for everyone involved and make it more likely to be a lasting one. Take an interest in what your child is doing each day. Participate in special activities when you are able. Show your appreciation to the child's provider by thanking her often for the care that she gives your child. Be on time coming home or picking up your child. When you are late, pay your provider extra or ask what you can do to make it up to her. Don't surprise your provider with drastic changes in your expectations of her. Stick with the agreements that you have made. Pay your provider on time. I cannot stress that enough, PAY ON TIME. You would likely (and justifiably) be very upset if your paycheck was "accidentally forgotten" on payday. Most providers and centers now charge ahead of time for services because of numerous past-due payments after services were rendered in the past. Realize she is a professional and childcare is not an easy job. A provider who feels appreciated and not taken for granted will be much more likely to continue providing childcare for you for a long time.

Finally, it is normal for parents to feel sad and/or guilty for leaving their child with a child care provider. As your child bonds with his provider, you may even feel a little jealous of their relationship. But this relationship needs to be encouraged so don't let your feelings come between your child and the provider. Speak well of the provider to and in front of your child. Reassure yourself that just because you aren't with your child every minute of every day doesn't mean that you are not a good parent. Reassure yourself, too, that you have carefully chosen your child care based on what you feel is best for your child. No one knows what that is better than you and no one can replace you in your child's eyes. If your child grows to love his provider, it won't diminish his love for you. In fact, that is one of the best signs that you have made the right choice. And that is exactly what you set out to do from the beginning.

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